We've all had toxic people dust us with their poison. Sometimes it's more like a drenching. Their damage lies in their subtlety and the way they can have you questioning your 'over-reactiveness', your 'oversensitivity', your 'tendency to misinterpret'.
There are plenty of things toxic people do in an attempt to manipulate the world to their advantage. Here are ten of the classics:
1. They'll keep you guessing about which version of them you're getting. They'll be completely lovely one day and the next you'll be wondering what you've done to upset them. When you ask what's wrong, the answer will likely be 'nothing', delivered with just enough icy cool to let you know there's something. Toxic people figured out long ago that decent people go to extraordinary lengths to keep the people they care about happy. If your attempts to please aren't working, maybe it's time to stop.
2. They'll manipulate. If you feel as though you're the only one contributing to the relationship, you're probably right. Toxic people have a way of taking from you then expecting your heartfelt appreciation. 'I'm having a dinner party. Why don't you bring dinner. For twelve. You can show off your kitchen skills. K?' If it doesn't feel like a favour, it's not.
3. They won't own their feelings. They'll act as though their difficult feelings are yours. It's called projection, as in projecting their own feelings and thoughts onto you. For example, someone who is angry might avoid responsibility for their anger by suggesting you're the angry one. It can be subtle, 'Are you okay with me?' or more pointed, 'You've been angry all day.' You'll find yourself justifying and defending and often this will go around in circles. Be clear on what's yours and what's theirs.
10 Toxic People You Should Avoid Like the Plague
2. Toxic victimhood
One of the most dangerous people you can have around you is the perpetual victim. Perpetual victims look at their own issues and mistakes and always find others to blame, from their unreasonable boss to their unloving parents. They never take ownership of their own lives.
Who are the severely toxic people?They are the ones who complain all the time.
I just might be toxic spreading the truth. When things are bad some people don't want to be reminded just how bad they have let things go.
"Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." - George Orwell